Haven been posting for such a long period,i'm Sorry first to Emily cos i asked for your help

to create this blog for me and yet i didn't take good care of it.

I'm 17 now and i think it's really a hard time for me cos i did so much things in the pass

tat i'm regreting now like never study well,playing the whole year oh mine.I really regret

really i swear,and how i wish i'm in school now cos life outside is really a place tat u need

to take good care of yourself alone.U can't ask your family to takecare of u anymore

as i'm already 17 i'm old enough but i just can't fcking forget my pass )'= i don't fcking know why

i hate myself really i do.

Now there's only 2things tat worried me the most which is my fiona.she a cheerful,mature,understand,helpful and Super nice person BUT just too playful.i worried about her and not myself as some of u guys out there which understand which type of person i'm

i can don't care about myself but not my close ones.

2nd is my family,my parent are getting older after each day pass i'm scare tat i couldn't take good care of them in the future.

Maybe some of u guys of there think tat i'm joking saying this as bearbear had not much fear,

but one thing is i don find bearbear in me anymore ); i'm lost really lost.

Haven been sleeping for almost 3days and i think i gona be sick soon cos my whole body was in pain due to ytd's fight at work place, but i'm fine don worry and the main point is when i get

back home fins bathing i couldn't sleep,when i close my eyes i started to think more n more stuff

till i don'y have the guts to sleep and i belive no one knew how pain i felt each night

and anyway i'm used to this cos the thing i needed the most was push out of my life once and not long ago it happen again so pain to me is really nth =l

guys treasure what u have now before it's really gone.